Confessions...

I don't know if I have ever been totally honest with all those around me. If I was I don't think I would regret. I have a confession to make... I didn't think turning would be so life-changing. I thought it was just a number that one turns. The only people who would make a big deal out of it would be the government, but it turns out that I am wrong yet again, in fact it has nothing to do with you anymore. It's all about what Mama says now. If the teenage years were the worst then I guess being 18 is just hell... anyways. Sometimes I dream of falling asleep and no one would wake me, and it would be just be by myself. You know why I love sleeping so much? Because it's the only thing you can do in this world that doesn't require a pill, it's good for you, and it's legal. But in all seriousness, I can go anywhere in my sleep and can't anybody say anything about it. The emotions are real and quite interesting. But one thing it always provides is total peace. The world is at ease and it's the high feeling I can't get enough of. Of course crying never solves anything, neither has laughing to cover up the crying. So what's left for me to do...nothing but what I've always. If I survive this year I should get Best Actress Award. I cry myself to sleep every night, yet every morning I can fake a smile throughout the day. I'm as dumb as donkey, yet I can all the great political that I have the brain of Einstein. Unbelievable huh? My world is out of balance, but my world is so perfect to the untrained eye. How do I do it? I don't even know, I blame God. Who else could let me do all the things I do without getting tired. It's not that I don't feel it, it's just that I'm not allowed to be tired, for there are others more tired with no goals other than to obtain the vanities of this world. Let's not forget education has value, but let's compare education, to sex shall we? Sex life in a marriage is quite important compared to just lame education! And it's not like you wanna be a doctor or anything, just a biochemists improving the works of a doctor. Yeah... but they don't know that. Besides a husband is the ultimate way to be happy. That's why I've been boy-crazy all these. Because of my fear of being alone. Well, I don't care anymore, the guys don't want to look at me, and I don't need them to make me happy. I'm alone anyways so being alone for the rest of my life will not kill me. It's sickening t0 hear the gossipping the negative influence going on in my head, from the one I am supposed to trust. Parents do me one favor, if your kids talk to you about personal stuff, don't use against them. Talking doesn't embarrassment 2 days later. Also stop thinking your kids are just lusting after boys, if they are most likely you influenced her. Please, please remember 18 is just a number, nothing else. They aren't waiting to leave the house, and if they are you've done something. At 18, they are most likely trying to impress, not dismiss you. Parents, please listen when your kids talk to you, they don't need to be judged, and a crush comes around at 20 times a year, so keep up with the latest crushes please!!! Good night.