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Monday, September 05, 2005

My Definition of a Man

I grew up without a father so understanding what the portrait of a man is, is a bit more challenging than I had hoped it would be. But it's ok, because lately I had just undergone a metaphorsis, or an evolution, whatever you want to call it. I had been thinking and talking to a friend of mine asking for advice. I guess I should take you back to the beginning of this change. See, my mom finally tracked down my father and of course everything did not go as I had hoped. So after meeting up with aunt and uncle from my father's side and having a couple discussions with my father, I realized that I had the necessary closure that I needed to move on with my life. So I decided to end the relationship right, before it became a nightmare to big for me to handle. I needed that I was old enough to make my own decisions and start living my life the way God intended me to live it. I think that my mom still believes that I want to be a part of my father's life, or that he needs to be a part of my life hence she believes that I haven't forgiven my father since I don't want him in my life. But it is not the case. However, I have heard many people say that a girl needs a father figure in her life in order for her to obtain a successful marriage. After seeking counselling I realized that refusing my father's relationship, did not mean that I would do that to every other good men I met. During that process I also realized that looks and talents did not define a man, it just added to a man. Looks and talents are like sugar and spice to a cake. I use to define a man by his looks and talents, but now I understand the rules of the game a little bit more.
So here is my definition of a man:
Must be a hardworker; Meaning he can't be lazy, must be able to get a decent and keep one. I will not accept any broke guy, repetitively asking to borrow money, because personally I don't have that much money. If the job thing is not working out right now, then your grades better be the reason. The job must be legal, no matter what.
Must be intelligent; Meaning you can not be dumber than me. I appreciate someone who can teach me a thing or two no matter what the subject is. Also be able to carry an intellectual conversation, we can have fun but once in awhile prove to me that you are or have attended school.
I know I said that physical characteristics were like sugar and spice to a cake, but I must say that I am already 5'9 ft., so the height is a must for me. You must be 6 ft., at least and that's just so I can look the same height as you when I'm on heels. It is kind of selfish, but height on a guy is a beautiful. Height is my sugar on this cake.
Must be tough; Meaning assume your responsibilities as a man. Don't be a wuss, if a fight breaks out either you try to stop it or you're in the fight. I can't stand it when a guy either tries to run away or talks a lot and can't defend himself. Please fellas don't do that to me.
Must be caring; Meaning you must have a heart, do not be a wuss, but if you're holding a baby play with the baby. It's kind of weird but showing your sensitive side is a kind of a turn-on for me.
Must have a sense of humour; Meaning be funny. I grew up in a funny household, all my friends are funny. I have to laugh. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO MAKE ME LAUGH!
The add-ons to a guy, is what I don't find necessary but they are the icing to the cake.
Must be able to carry a note; In other words you must be able to sing to me and make me melt.
Must be able to play an instrument; The bagpipe is not an instrument in my vocabulary.
Must be good-looking; Be the reason of every girl's envy (jokin!)
So here it is, it most likely will be reviewed and changed over a series of time. Remember this is only my definition of a man.

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