Call it PMS, or whatever u want...

Lately I've noticed that many of us are living in a world that teaches us to be different, but yet shows us that in order to be different we must conform and be just like the others. Then again that could be just like my world. It's not like I want to be like the others but the others seem to influence more than I can influence them. It's true that I don't want to influence them because I don't sound too good. My advices are too pushy and controversial. Well I am a christian. If you in the wrong I'm going to tell you. It's ridiculous how people can't seem to talk, I am amazed. I got a feeling even if a life and death situation was to present itself before us, we would not talk just because the silence is so much more supported than the talking. I am obviously not a verbal person, everything that I say is not taken like it should be. I act yet my actions are louder than words, at times I wish they weren't. I can't seem to talk to anybody, lately I've been argumentative. I can't seem to agree so I keep everything to myself, I can't talk to my mother. But partially that's her fault. When I do talk to her she uses everything against me. It's not like I don't trust her. I trust that she will be my mother and that's about it, but other than that...So I had a friend that I use to confide in but lately I realized that there are things that I need to figure out on my own. I don't need those closest to me to know my every worries. It doesn't look good on me. Half the time I don't understand my mother, half of my bad habits I picked up from her. She's not a bad mother, but she's not very encouraging. My sister tells me that she doesn't want to let me go, but that's not the vibe that I'm getting. Lately her words are more focused on getting married, it's kind of scary. I don't like the life that I am living and that is why I love to go away on trips with my church. I know it sounds selfish, but it's true I love to go away just to get away from her. Because when I am away I miss her more, and the relationship gets better. That's what I think anyways...