2 young 4 life

Obviously grade 12is supposed to be the best year of high school. But when u ain't a got a job, skool becomes a stressful situation, and parents are on ur back, then life becomes hell. Life used 2 b so good to me then i turned 18. I am now on welfare, not based on my will, i can't get a date now that i am allowed to date. it's ridiculous how i live. i have a different face for everywhere that i go. i don't even know my real face anymore. maybe i'm exaggerating, but that's how i feel. at church i become happy and helpful, at home i try to be the perfect eldest daughter, but it doesn't seem to work lately, and at skool i am the voice of my high skool. but deep down i wish i could cry and scream , and maybe even beat up a few ppl. i hate my current situation, and i know things will get better, but i don't when. and it frustrates me because my friends have it all and they try to help but they don't know the whole story. it all started when we started letting this kid sleep over. he's not mean or disrespectful towards any of us, but he's a spoiled, rebellious kid without a clue. i can't stand him. besides that no one wants him around, so now everybody's stressed, and i'm getting blamed for every retardedly stupid thing taht happens in my house. now i come to realize taht not only the guy i have a crush on doesn't like me, but he's also a total jerk. i mean it i never knew that until tonight. i can't stand my current situation. now it seems like i won't be able to graduate. i know that God will provide, i just don't konw when, and it bothers me 'cause i wnated the perfect life for so long, and now it looks like there's no more hope, jus faith, and i don't know how long my faith will last. things weren't like this when i was younger; it was easier if u got in trouble u knew y. but now everything is hard, learning becomes my hardest challenge. so i guess i have nothing to do but wait on the Lord, right?