2 young 4 life

Obviously grade 12is supposed to be the best year of high school. But when u ain't a got a job, skool becomes a stressful situation, and parents are on ur back, then life becomes hell. Life used 2 b so good to me then i turned 18. I am now on welfare, not based on my will, i can't get a date now that i am allowed to date. it's ridiculous how i live. i have a different face for everywhere that i go. i don't even know my real face anymore. maybe i'm exaggerating, but that's how i feel. at church i become happy and helpful, at home i try to be the perfect eldest daughter, but it doesn't seem to work lately, and at skool i am the voice of my high skool. but deep down i wish i could cry and scream , and maybe even beat up a few ppl. i hate my current situation, and i know things will get better, but i don't when. and it frustrates me because my friends have it all and they try to help but they don't know the whole story. it all started when we started letting this kid sleep over. he's not mean or disrespectful towards any of us, but he's a spoiled, rebellious kid without a clue. i can't stand him. besides that no one wants him around, so now everybody's stressed, and i'm getting blamed for every retardedly stupid thing taht happens in my house. now i come to realize taht not only the guy i have a crush on doesn't like me, but he's also a total jerk. i mean it i never knew that until tonight. i can't stand my current situation. now it seems like i won't be able to graduate. i know that God will provide, i just don't konw when, and it bothers me 'cause i wnated the perfect life for so long, and now it looks like there's no more hope, jus faith, and i don't know how long my faith will last. things weren't like this when i was younger; it was easier if u got in trouble u knew y. but now everything is hard, learning becomes my hardest challenge. so i guess i have nothing to do but wait on the Lord, right?

Nothing like it

It's unbelievable how much it can hurt to see some of the greatest people in your life get exactly what they deserve. I mean there is so much that they do in their community and in your life, but as soon as they too much it hurts. Maybe it's jealousy, and it's bad but materialistic wise it doesn't matter, but love wise it tends to matter. Not the fact that you like that person, but just the fact that they got it all. I mean why is it that they get the man, the job, the looks , and the personality and I'm struggling trying to make everything balance.

Nothing is worth...

Why do we run away from what we believe to be the ultimate sin? WE all know we want it, but we look elsewhere and get distracted so easily. Is it worth eternal regret? I don't think so, yet many do. Everyone wants everlasting, neverending passionate love, yet no know one wants to work at it. No one understands the meaning of communication. Back in the day, families had no choice but to communicate because divorce was not an option. Why is it now that we make excuses for our selfishness. To love oneself is to respect oneself and others but to be selfishly, indulged in oneself. There's nothing to lose when it comes to love, unless you have extreme pride. No one understands the word love as much anymore. It saddens me to think that in the year 2020, more than 50% of the population will end up as I did. I don't want my children to grow up without a father, that's just too sad. But if the media, continues to encourage the nation of this world to believe that growing up in a single-parent family is alright, then I fear that my grandchildren will grow up as I did. So then who will take care of the children to come?