The Place I go

I want a place to go to when I neeed to go unwind. Most use their gifts, most a journal, some just keep it inside. I've come to the place that I can no longer keep anything inside. It's just way too hard. I want to change my way of thinking. I feel like I have to fight every single type of negativity, just to be sane in this world. Everyone says that being yourself is all that you need to survive. Truth is we must all change or conform to certain standards. But why must we also be subject to brainwashing, as a form of conformity. The standards may change but the methods still remain the same. No one want s to believe a lie, but what happens when a lie becomes the truth. Should we continue to conform to the rules of society and be like one of them. Sometimes I just wnat ot worry about myself. I don't wnat to deal with anyone else. So I block everyone else and try to forget them. I don't want to do it, but I seem to do it unconciously. I happen to regress in my treatment, so I call it. I am so sick of being different, being uncomfortable in the open as well as behind closed doors.