Got Less than A Day

I have less than a day, to make things right. If it's not perfect, then I pray that second best is as close to perfection as anything could be close to perfection. I know that this is all about God and none about me, but the fact that I planned this and it's all about to go down this upcoming weekend scares me more than. I pray that everything goes and that it's a packed place, more than anything I want people to be ministered to. If people got converted that would be amazing. I can't help what happens today or tomorrow. The Bible does teach to not stress over the things of tomorrow because it has enough problems of its own, but when control is no longer yours and you are the physical representation of the one accountable it does something to you. I wonder how all my other predecessor got through something like this without losing it. I don't know either way I hope all goes well and that I don't die in the process which seems very likely right now, lol just joking. I do pray that I don't do anything to ruin this night. It is supposed to be my birthday, to be embarrassed on my birthday would make things worst. Next year, I'll just plan a regular party as opposed to an extravagant affair that only lasts one night. I'm not giving up, just not up to doing something that I'm not sure will succeed. Then again my mind may change by Sunday!
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After the Matter is Settled

This blog is more of a letter than anything else. Problem is I don't know who to make the letter out to. Maybe to anonymous boy E, but since he is just another case of hearsay, he probably should be brought in later, of course all this would be based on certain assumption. Maybe it'd be best to start with girl C, since she is just a victim of being the messenger and nothing else. All this unnecessary drama, isn't this a great way to start off the year?
All of this may be confusing, since you don't know what I know, and you have no idea what's going on in my head. It's currently a battlefield between my heart and my mind. In other words, rational and emotional thinking. I've learned to use my head, no matter how hard it is to distinguish the two, just because I get in trouble a whole lot. My problem I know is my lack of knowing when to just shut up. I think I have it under control but it is clearly apparent that I don't. Obviously my obnoxious ways have caught up to me, and I can no longer escape it. I don't know. All I know is that it is almost 5 am and it is very hard to type when you're extremely tired.
I was supposed to vent in this blog, due to an event that truly upsetted me. Just drama created from people who know best (I guess?). I don't know why things turn out the way they do I really don't. But all things work together for good, so I guess I must go along with it. Now this thing got me awake, I was supposed to work on going to sleep early so that when school started I'd be able to get my sleep schedule under control. But it's obviously not the case.
I know how to handle the situation, it's just executing the plan with poise and grace and without killing myself that is the problem. I'm assuming all that is going to happen. I'm create event that may potentially take place, when in fact it may be the total opposite.
I personally know that I have and hold no grudge against anybody involved in this situation. I just hope that when another situation like that arises, the plan to resolve this problem is carried with a bit more class. It's sad that I can't trust those I thought I should. I always knew that but I wanted to deny it. So having it slapped in your face really emphasizes the need to raise your walls on certain occasions, with certain people.
I pray that boy E and girl C, truly believe me when I say that I did not mean to offend them in any way. I was tired and upset and clearly not speaking english and honestly speaking my opinion. I told myself not to express myself, because I have a lack of expressing myself clearly enough or without subtiliy/poise/grace to do or execute properly what is going on in my brain. Not everybody is perfect no matter how hard we try to fool ourselves. Sadly when we are most vulnerable we do the most damage.