Sappy Love Songs

Sappy love songs are for me a battle. It only works when it happens in real life. Until then, it`s just a wanted and desired fantasy that we all dream of encountering when the time is right. Of course, we all thinkt that the right is now, if you`re a teen. I blame Disney. But seriously, we all want to fall in love and be blinded by our stupidity, which is influenced by our lack of common sense. We become seriously entranced by the enchantment of this emotions. It`s extremely if you can trust it with all your heart and can become a nightmare if you`re not used to it. This emotion has the power to transform everything about us, from the inside out. Which is, some of us get become a slave to that emotion. We can`t be happy being single, because you can`t fall in love with yourself, unless you are Paris Hilton (jokes!). But seriously, though maybe that`s why sappy love songs are such a hit, because it taps the emotion we truly long for. That perfect, enchanting, blinding love that keeps us living once we have a taste of it. It becomes a necessity.

A Scary Dream

The beauty of being unknown is that I can tell you exactly how I feel without you ever knowing who exactly I`m talking about. Funny, ain`t it? This is like my virtual secret identity, hopefully no one ever finds out who I truly am. This is my secret, you know? For me, and my eyes only. But I got to have to get this out. I had a dream last night, you kissed me and I let you. You chased me and I liked it. I liked it so much I ran away. But everytime you were around I felt so beautiful, loved, wanted all the emotions a girl loves to feel. But problem is that this was a dream. Now I`m awake and the reality is that it`s not supposed to be. I went down that road before, we were younger and it was so horrible. It hurts so much that I can`t go back there anymore. So it`s not like I don`t want it, I can`t have it for my own sanity. The dream was beautiful, too beautiful. Problem is the guy was physiologically you, but it`s not something you would really do. SO your actions don`t really prove to be you. So I most likely dreamt the wrong guy. The face hides the one who truly makes my heart beat. That`s why it`s so scary.

It Feels So Good

If what they say is true
That I possess the beauty they see
The tears of heaven have pierced through
The scars I've hidden deeply
Because every once in awhile
I feel a smile
All throughout this particular moment
My soul is bare and transparent
As if my flaws were apparent
The diamond was formed and fluent
In the language of the confidence
The game of intelligence
Is yet another tackled challenge
Led by the evolution
Through the omnipotence
Of the One who reigns without necessary revolution
Still and powerful in His imminence
Yes if every truth is as positive as this moment
Then truly life should feel this good

Live Life

One life is given to you, you decide how you're going to live it. You decide the mistakes you're going to make. You agree to the contracts you think are bests, and you get out of situations that are not so well-thought out. You decide who's in the driver's seat. You take the advices you think are right or deny them and learn the hard way. Either way it's your life, so why not enjoy it. Many times we are too limited in our own minds to do the impossible. When was the last time you did something without regret? Honestly? When was the last time you did something unpredictable? Do you find yourself scheduling every last minute of the day? Live a little, take day off of work and treat yourself. You don't have to spend money to treat yourself. You can go outside. If it's sunny out and it feels like summer go out and go to the beach. If it's winter out, go out and make a snowman. Hang out with your kids or little siblings, and stop using the excuse 'I don't have time', make the time. Relaxing every once in a while will keep you from an early grave!

Got Less than A Day

I have less than a day, to make things right. If it's not perfect, then I pray that second best is as close to perfection as anything could be close to perfection. I know that this is all about God and none about me, but the fact that I planned this and it's all about to go down this upcoming weekend scares me more than. I pray that everything goes and that it's a packed place, more than anything I want people to be ministered to. If people got converted that would be amazing. I can't help what happens today or tomorrow. The Bible does teach to not stress over the things of tomorrow because it has enough problems of its own, but when control is no longer yours and you are the physical representation of the one accountable it does something to you. I wonder how all my other predecessor got through something like this without losing it. I don't know either way I hope all goes well and that I don't die in the process which seems very likely right now, lol just joking. I do pray that I don't do anything to ruin this night. It is supposed to be my birthday, to be embarrassed on my birthday would make things worst. Next year, I'll just plan a regular party as opposed to an extravagant affair that only lasts one night. I'm not giving up, just not up to doing something that I'm not sure will succeed. Then again my mind may change by Sunday!
For more information on what I am talking about visit www.myspace.com/duchessroyalty

After the Matter is Settled

This blog is more of a letter than anything else. Problem is I don't know who to make the letter out to. Maybe to anonymous boy E, but since he is just another case of hearsay, he probably should be brought in later, of course all this would be based on certain assumption. Maybe it'd be best to start with girl C, since she is just a victim of being the messenger and nothing else. All this unnecessary drama, isn't this a great way to start off the year?
All of this may be confusing, since you don't know what I know, and you have no idea what's going on in my head. It's currently a battlefield between my heart and my mind. In other words, rational and emotional thinking. I've learned to use my head, no matter how hard it is to distinguish the two, just because I get in trouble a whole lot. My problem I know is my lack of knowing when to just shut up. I think I have it under control but it is clearly apparent that I don't. Obviously my obnoxious ways have caught up to me, and I can no longer escape it. I don't know. All I know is that it is almost 5 am and it is very hard to type when you're extremely tired.
I was supposed to vent in this blog, due to an event that truly upsetted me. Just drama created from people who know best (I guess?). I don't know why things turn out the way they do I really don't. But all things work together for good, so I guess I must go along with it. Now this thing got me awake, I was supposed to work on going to sleep early so that when school started I'd be able to get my sleep schedule under control. But it's obviously not the case.
I know how to handle the situation, it's just executing the plan with poise and grace and without killing myself that is the problem. I'm assuming all that is going to happen. I'm create event that may potentially take place, when in fact it may be the total opposite.
I personally know that I have and hold no grudge against anybody involved in this situation. I just hope that when another situation like that arises, the plan to resolve this problem is carried with a bit more class. It's sad that I can't trust those I thought I should. I always knew that but I wanted to deny it. So having it slapped in your face really emphasizes the need to raise your walls on certain occasions, with certain people.
I pray that boy E and girl C, truly believe me when I say that I did not mean to offend them in any way. I was tired and upset and clearly not speaking english and honestly speaking my opinion. I told myself not to express myself, because I have a lack of expressing myself clearly enough or without subtiliy/poise/grace to do or execute properly what is going on in my brain. Not everybody is perfect no matter how hard we try to fool ourselves. Sadly when we are most vulnerable we do the most damage.