The Place I go

I want a place to go to when I neeed to go unwind. Most use their gifts, most a journal, some just keep it inside. I've come to the place that I can no longer keep anything inside. It's just way too hard. I want to change my way of thinking. I feel like I have to fight every single type of negativity, just to be sane in this world. Everyone says that being yourself is all that you need to survive. Truth is we must all change or conform to certain standards. But why must we also be subject to brainwashing, as a form of conformity. The standards may change but the methods still remain the same. No one want s to believe a lie, but what happens when a lie becomes the truth. Should we continue to conform to the rules of society and be like one of them. Sometimes I just wnat ot worry about myself. I don't wnat to deal with anyone else. So I block everyone else and try to forget them. I don't want to do it, but I seem to do it unconciously. I happen to regress in my treatment, so I call it. I am so sick of being different, being uncomfortable in the open as well as behind closed doors.

Father's Day

This day has always been one of the most difficult days of the year, as I reminisce over the man my biological father should've been instead of the man he is today. Many words come to mind as I desperately need to unleash the emotions in need of being heard, but as I have been raised a lady may not let the world know how she truly feels. Of course, that's why most ladies end up dead before their time, of course that's a lie, and I am joking. Personally, I hate this day. I truly do. This is the one day, that I desperately desire to forget even exist. I hate this day, with an unwanted desire to see it abolished and banned from being practiced. But then again, this is all due to my personal experience. Having to deal with a father with so much baggage and dead weight that he can't even see past himself in order to raise his children. Please fathers take care of your children. I have to depend on another man to show me what a father should do. I hate this day, have I already said? I really do. I do hope that I learn to appreciate this day, so that my future husband would not have to put up with this. As he will be a loving and devoted father, who will put his kids first above all else. Why should a man put a job before his children? Or better yet, sex before his children? But that's my situation not yours, oh that just sounds wrong. It's not in the context that it sounds in. Anyways, before I do have to thank all the fathers, especially the single parent fathers, who take care of all their children. Who take responsibility of all their kids, and acknowledges their presence in their lives. Who puts them first and is not afraid to tell them that he loves them everyday. This day is truly for you, enjoy it. To you, happy Father's Day!