I'm done...

I'm not even mad at you. I'm just so sad. So sad, so hurt. I don't feel betrayed anymore no matter what I've said to them. No matter how big the smile I wear. It's just there like zirconia on gold plates. I'm not even angry just sad. Sad that this is what you see. This is how you feel, despite my attempt to make it clear. Apparently somehow throughout it all, you received a package I never sent you. Unfortunately, you believed what you saw and left me in the dark putting the piece all together. I thought and I assumed. But I was wrong. So now I'm sad. So sad, that it makes me sick with love. I want you and all of you. But you heard the opposite. I missed you so much it's slowly killing me, but you see the opposite. Being with you is just as toxic as being without. I don't know if you feel that. You won't talk to me. You have said all that there is to say and these walls that are there, I know, they are just temporary but still it hurts and it makes me sad. So now that I've exhausted all paths of mental escape. I will sleep today away to keep my heart from breaking further. Hopefully nursing my wounds well enough to wake up with a genuine smile on my face. Hopeful yet again...because tomorrow is a new day.