Who would've thought

A while ago I felt inferior to this girl because she had all the guys turning heads, sadly enough she got hurt. Nevertheless I didn't start talking to her because she got hurt by the guy I used to like (it was one big mistake), no, I started talking to her because I had enough. This past weekend I went to Youth Winter Fellowship in Toronto. We had a blast. Somewhere in the mix I felt comfortable with all the girls, there was no catfights and none of that she said he said mess. I cleared up some things with God and myself. I understood me more, and while I am continuing on this journey of life I am also learning to lean more on my mother than others. I realized that even though I am not all that she has she is all that I have. I am who I am, despite of how I feel. Feelings are feelings they come and they go. I need to accept me to accept life. Right now as relationship scare me to death I trust God to provide me with all that I need. I am not so tightgripped on life anymore. I feel light and free from stress. All I need to focus on is on school. Boys and men are hard to differentiate especially now. So many guys try to act like something they are not especially in the church. You don't know anymore who's really a christian and who really is not. It's hard. I'm sure there are guys out there who are saying the same thing. But as a female one can't help but feel threatened by everything. So the competition is over. This thing that girls embark on to make themselves feel better really needs to stop. I was on my way to depression and low self-esteem. Out of all people me?! I'm the over-confident one who takes crap from nobody. Well everyone's got a weak spot right? Even the strongest can fall. When they fall they fall hard. So who would've thought that I'd be speaking to that girl, huh? I never really did. you know what i like the fact that people come up to me and let me know what's going on. I like the fact that I can trusted with personal issues. I love the fact that sometimes you do reap what you sow. Even if sowing is harder than reaping.